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  • Do coaches avoid mirrors?

Coaching fashion could use practice

I’m certain there should be a class action lawsuit against science fiction movie makers. Seems like there is one constant no matter the plot. By the year 2000 we were all supposed to be wearing metallic coveralls, leaving no chance of a fashion mistake. 
Recently I was scolded by my brother-in-law who is a self proclaimed fashion expert. He informed me my running shoes were not supposed to be worn with jeans. I reminded him my sense of style was good enough for his sister and therefore good enough for me.
While the conversation did nothing to change my shoes, it did make me notice other people’s wardrobe choices. After a couple of weeks of information gathering, I’ve decided coaches could use a makeover.
The extent of the fashion sins differs depending on the sport. A trend I’ve seen in high school basketball is what I call the “I’m a former athlete” look. This one is easy to spot. Coaches adorn themselves with active wear, looking like they are ready to take on a workout that would make NFL linebackers cry. Their reasoning is the comfort of the clothing, but we all know they miss their glory days.
Football has its own issues. To me the classic look of a collared, three-button shirt with slacks is a fantastic look. I understand that temps are high at the beginning of the season so I will allow stylish shorts but not basketball shorts. There is no situation where a shirt with at least one button on it should be paired up with baggy Nike shorts.
Poor football fashion goes all the way up to the NFL and perhaps the greatest coach of all time, Bill Belechick. While I acknowledge his genius for the game, I can’t look at him without feeling the need to scrounge up some pocket change to help buy him new clothes. The fact that he wears faded hoodies with the sleeves cut off tells me he either has no friends or everyone is afraid to tell him how awful he looks.
Perhaps the strangest choice of attire is found in America’s pass time. For some odd reason, baseball coaches have all agreed to wear the same uniform as the players. Sure it prevents the mistakes we’ve covered in other sports, but it just seems strange. 
I’m sure the tradition comes from the days of player/coaches where an elder player also coached the team. However, the very day that position faded into history, so should have the coach’s uniform. 
Even as a teenager in the ‘90s I knew that the classic Braves uniform didn’t seem to look right on Bobby Cox. The polyester material seemed to hug in all the wrong places. 
Maybe we could sit down and design a universal coaching uniform much like officials. Fans would instantly be able to identify coaches and it would eliminate the chance of seeing someone patrol the sidelines in jorts and Jerusalem cruisers.
By Travis Dockery Sports writer

Clay County Progress

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