The Still Place • Photo The Still Place Executive Director Lori McClure
By Lorrie Ross
Staff Writer
In remote Clay County, along the tranquil shores of Compass Creek, The Still Place awaits. This non-profit may be lesser known than others in Clay County, but its impact is far-reaching.
Critically ill children and their families come to The Still Place from all over for family respite and renewal. Executive Director Lori McClure explained, “The Still Place was created to provide a place for families with seriously ill children to spend time together away from the usual stresses of illness to form memories and enjoy family time. Many programs offer large-scale, camp environments or theme park vacations for groups of seriously ill children. The Still Place is innovative in that we offer quiet time for the family. We serve single families; we serve the entire family-not just the seriously ill child, often finding fathers and healthy siblings experience the greatest benefit from our services.”
It all began when the late Dr. Craig Kitchens and Dr. Dawn Grinenko wanted to create space for families with very ill children, so they bought the property in December 2014. The physician couple had previously worked with seriously ill children and families in Florida and wanted to carry on their work in western North Carolina.
In May 2015, the Still Place hosted its first family. They received non-profit 501(c)3 status in July 2015. According to McClure, they have hosted about 40 families every year since. “We have hosted around 300 families and almost 1,500 individuals in the last 10 years,” she said. “We expanded with a second property, both located on Compass Creek. Here we hope to host families to enjoy our beautiful area every week of the year.”
McClure shared details. “During a family retreat, we explore from a child’s view, sit with a parent creekside and listen as they reflect on their journey through illness. We spend time together and build relationships through exploration and play. As we get to know each other, we can encourage them to reach beyond their expectations. On a retreat week, families experience companionship and support through art, nature, play, exploration and adventure.”
She continued, “Each retreat typically lasts seven days. Families get free lodging, meals, a family day to explore our area on their own, an excursion at one of our local parks supported by staff and volunteers, a day of adventure which might include tubing, hiking, whitewater rafting, zip-lining, gem-mining, blacksmithing or even snow tubing. Parents enjoy a Parent’s Day Out at a gourmet restaurant while we hang out with the children at the No Parent Party. Families visit local farms and interact with animals. There is plenty of family time to chase fireflies, catch frogs, fish, play board games, make S’mores and make memories together.”
McClure said serious illness impacts families. “Beyond handling physical challenges and medical needs, there is also dealing with insurance and the debt illness can bring,” she said. “This isn’t something that goes away. Families have to deal with the impact a prolonged illness can have on the entire family, sometimes for many years. Family dynamics can be tested when a child is sick. Clinic visits, surgical procedures and frequent checkups can throw kinks into everyone’s schedules and take an emotional toll on the entire family. It’s common for siblings to become angry, sullen, resentful, fearful or withdrawn. It is also common for marriages to be strained or even end.”
Parents of critically ill children may feel everyone needs them — their sick child, other children, a spouse, a job. “This constant pressure causes parents to feel mentally, emotionally and physically drained,” she added. “That’s why it’s a necessity — not a luxury — to spend time away, focusing just on your family and not on the pressure you’ve been under. Getting away to The Still Place helps parents and children to recharge and feel empowered to continue.”
McClure said families have said things like “It was exactly what my family needed to bring light, positivity, adventure, fun and unity into our lives.”
Also, “For the first time in years, I feel like I have strength to face what life continues to throw our way.”
In 2021, The Still Place offered its first Still Your Mom Bereavement retreat, in partnership with KinderMourn, Inc and Charlie’s Heart Foundation. They now have five moms’ bereavement retreats and two dads’ bereavement retreats annually. “Moms and dads come together for a long weekend and share their hearts with one another,” McClure said. “They come as strangers and leave as friends who we hope will continue to walk hand-in-hand with one another as they carry their children in their hearts.”
Founders Grinenko and Kitchens practiced medicine for many years. She is an internist and pediatrician, who has been a traveling hospitalist and hospice and palliative care physician. Kitchens retired from a career as a hematologist, U.S. Army Reserve Colonel and medical educator. Grinenko saw the struggles of her patients and their families and dreamed of creating a place of respite. Kitchens passed away earlier this year, but his wife, Grinenko, carries on the work.
“As with every nonprofit, funding and donations are vital to complete our mission and serve families,” McClure added. “With the help of our community, family and friends, we have been successful thus far. A typical family retreat cost $2,500. This includes lodging, food, activities and excursions. Families are able to enjoy a no cost week-long retreat and we could not do this without the support of donors.”
A High Roller Bash fund-raiser will be held at The Beal Center from 6-9 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 1. Tickets may be bought online at: TheStillPlace.org and include event entry for two people, food and beverage and Kitchens Cash Fun Money for gaming, in memory of Kitchens. There will be no cash winnings, but the grand prize is a one week stay on St. George Island.
Other ways to help:
Volunteers are needed. “Our volunteers love helping families,” McClure said. “Seeing a child smile, laugh and have fun is fulfilling. Volunteers impact our families beyond what we can see.”
Also, referrals of families with a seriously ill child are appreciated.
Donations may be mailed to: P O Box 31, Hayesville, 28904, made in person or at: thestillplace.org.