By Lorrie Ross
Staff Writer
Stories of hope are not easy to find, but perhaps this story of local folks who came together despite very different backgrounds give hope.
It begins in Bent Grass, a local neighborhood which bonded together for the sake of a dying woman, Karen Ballard, and her teenage grandson. It is also about strangers pulled into this circle of neighbors in unexpected ways.
Ballard died at home on May 6, surrounded by her surrogate family of friends. Several of them recently gathered in her home to share stories about the 83-year-old woman and tell more about the community’s bond.
Ballard and her grandson, Talon Ballard, lived in Hayesville about a decade. Her friends said she was opinionated, snarky, full of colorful language and did not believe in God or prayer. Even so, they said she was very special and helped connect many of them.
Most importantly, she loved Talon fiercely. She fought for years to gain custody of her grandsons from their father, her own son who was unable to care for them.
Talon shared his memories. “I could rely on her from the day I was born. Mom got arrested when she left the hospital and my grandparents were the most stable parts of my life,” he said. “I could be a kid at their house. Grandpa died when I was about eight. Grandpa's wishes were for me to not be near my father. I remember living in an abandoned food cart. There was a legal battle. When grandma got custody, it took so long, we did not recognize each other.”
At first, Talon and his brother both lived with their grandmother. “My brother was violent, and grandma was older and could not really deal with it,” Talon said. “I was scared to sleep in the same room with him.” Sadly, Karen could not keep her other grandson.
Eventually, they moved to Bent Grass. The first several years, Talon spent a lot of time in his room and hardly knew the neighbors, but his grandmother did.
Jackie Conover remembers meeting her. “I met Karen early on. She sat on her porch and smoked, so I would stop and talk as I walked the dog,” she explained. “We became buddies. She was from a West Virginia coal town and I’m from a steel town. We had that in common, so we became good friends and talked or texted every day. Karen would look up funny things to amuse me. This came to be the place to come. Other neighbors would come and sit on the porch. My husband knew I was going to Karen’s. We seemed an unlikely friendship because Barry is a retired Lutheran pastor and she did not believe in God, at least not at first.”
Rebecca Sprinkles recalled the first time she met Karen. “Talon was riding bikes with my kids, Parker and Lilly. Karen came driving up in her convertible BMW sports car with a cigarette in her hand and wearing a little black tank top, as she always did. Karen waved her cigarette and said ‘thanks for letting T play,’ then she followed Talon. I thought to myself, I like her.”
Rebecca reminisced, “We really connected. She had a way into your heart. Her house was somewhere to hang out and watch movies. She made you feel like the most important person in the room. I made myself at home in her house. I loved hearing her stories of hard times, like a little kid on a rug hearing story time.”
Next door neighbor, Debbie Wilson, agreed. “My husband, Billy, was up here a lot before I retired, so he and Karen became close. Karen would come over to watch kickboxing with him. Sometimes he would cook or drive her places when she could not. Through him, when I came into town, I became close with her. She was immeasurably intelligent and organized,” Debbie laughed. “My hair is white because of her. She told me to quit coloring my hair, so I did. She always looked beautiful. We became really good friends and would go to thrift stores or get ice cream. She always brought something back for Talon. We talked for hours. It gave me a wonderful feeling to be part of this community. She was my connection and it endeared me to her.”
Talon said he began causing problems. “I would not go to school or do things I was supposed to do. I was not a very good person and made her life hell, which I regret,” he said. “I never had a stable male figure in my life until we moved to North Carolina. She never gave up and cared through it all. I began to get things under control and life was smooth, but then my dad died. We never had a good relationship, but it was her son. She had not seen him in over a decade. After he passed, it impacted her in many ways. I think she was disappointed because she knew he had a lot of potential, too. She often said to me, ‘the only reason I am here is because of you.’"
Karen had multiple health issues. “She was a survivor. I am surprised she held on so long with the struggles she had,” Talon said. “She had to put up with me for months and eventually I showed her I am not that kid anymore. Thank the Lord.”
Other people became connected to the Ballards and Bent Grass, some because of Karen’s illness and some because of Talon’s troubles. Nancy Rowland first visited Karen as part of a Hayesville First UMC program. Rowland was reluctant, but became good friends with Karen, as well as many of the neighbors. Karen eventually referred to Nancy as “the Methodist Lady” and Nancy’s husband as “the I.T. man.”
Karen had nicknames for everybody. “And you knew if she did not like you,” Talon quipped. “There were not many people though,” Debbie added.
Terri Hager met the Ballards through school, but developed a close friendship with much of the neighborhood. “They are wonderful people,” Hager said. “Like an extended family getting through things together.”
Talon affirmed this. “As time went on and I got to know people, it was nice. I had missed out on quite a lot. The people in this neighborhood being continuous staples in my life are the driving force for me to try to do good every single day. Knowing I have that expectation and having those people in my life helps a lot.”
Karen’s health began declining about a year ago. “I was finally getting things under control and going through life,” Talon said. “I always knew she would not live forever, but it was rough.”
She wanted to live until Talon turned 18 so he would not have to go into foster care. Her last months were at home. Talon helped her a lot, as did countless others.
“Everyone was here, just not all at once,” Talon recounted. “My best friend, Garrett and his dad, Pastor Eric Segars, his wife and daughters. I became closer with Adam and Rebecca Sprinkles who became like parents to me. Lilly and Parker would stop by. Debbie was here and Nancy, Jackie, Terri and Tay. Everyone grandma had a connection with and cared for, which is almost everyone in this neighborhood.”
Karen was known for her beautiful garden and porch where neighbors would gather. Nancy Rowland shared a story from not long before Karen died when several people were visiting. “Karen wanted a cigarette. One by one, off we went to gather on the porch. Jay ended up getting a bunch of chairs and he said we need to take up a collection and build the porch bigger. Karen replied, ‘that is a great idea,’” Rowland smiled. “Karen saw Christ in action.”
Talon recalled. “Her dream was to pass away painlessly in sleep. I believe she did. She was surrounded by every person in her life and mine, who ever cared for her or me. Even people from school who became friends with grandma were here.”
It was hard for Talon to see his grandmother at her sickest. “It was nice to see everyone united and together in such a crappy circumstance. Everyone came and enjoyed each other’s company. People who have always been connected through my grandmother but never got to have time together got to know each other better,” he said. “I was very happy not to have to go through this alone. I do not know what I would have done if I had to go through that without the people around me right now.”
One day, Talon kicked everyone out and talked to his grandmother. “I was worried she was disappointed in me, but I wanted to be the polar opposite of my father. I let her know I am going to be OK.” He believes she heard him.
“I was in my room playing a video game with Garrett when Adam knocked to tell me grandma passed away. It was hard to hear. I feel like I’d already came to terms with it. Every day of her life had been a fight and I knew she had some peace. When Adam told me, it was hard to hear but I was relieved she was not suffering. Even now, it does not feel like she is gone.”
Talon slept on the Sprinkles couch for about two weeks. “I couldn’t sleep at home,” he said. “It is hard to watch someone, the only stable person in your life, suffer for a year. It is unreal to know the person you spent so much time with and one day they're gone. They cease to exist.”
The neighbors still reach out to Talon. “I'm thankful for everyone,” he smiled. “At the start, I wasn't close to anyone. As time went on, people here are continuous staples in my life for me to try to do good every single day.”
Rebecca Sprinkles was tearful. “I cared for Karen like a grandma, a mother and a friend. When she passed, I lost each one of those. Karen believed in me and always wanted what was best. Her house was a safe place to come.”
She added, “In this community, for someone like Karen who was not a believer, the thing I took away is someone who did not believe in Jesus but she believed in humanity and she believed in the good in people. I think that’s what held her on until she met enough people who did know Jesus and it connected the link. I think God knew that when he put people in her life. We all crossed paths because of God. That is faith, her humanity and our belief in Jesus and that connection. I think she met Jesus on her last day because the faith of the people was too big for her disbelief.”
Jackie said, “I guess none of us realized how close we were until the end.”
Talon ended, “Grandma gave me the drive to go through life and she is still continuing to do so. She turned me into a young man. I couldn’t be more thankful for the people in my life. My grandmother left them with quite a lot of responsibility and they continue to help. That is why I am so thankful.”