By Lorrie Ross
Staff Writer
It has been more than seven years since Landon Johnson died by suicide. The day he died is forever etched in the heart and memory of the young man’s father, Ricky Johnson.
Landon was 18 when he took his own life on Dec. 12, 2015. Ricky still loves his son very much and was understandably devastated about the teen’s suicide. “His death killed me, but it inspired me to be a better man,” Ricky said. “My life transition was already in progress, but his death definitely influenced who I've become.”
Two years prior to his son’s suicide, Johnson had started recovery for substance abuse. He now speaks publicly around the country to inspire others. As he does, he often shares his son’s picture and story as part of his desire to help others. “I speak on my past with substance use, incarceration and my son's suicide,” he shared. “Consequences, perseverance and hope.”
When asked if he has forgiven himself, he replied, “Honestly, I don't know what it truly means to say I've forgiven myself. My choices through substance use impacted his mental health,” he explained. “Choosing an addiction over Landon sent the message of, ‘these people and this life means more to me than spending time with you.’ I don't consume myself with grief, yet reflect daily on what I never want to be again and that prevents me from going back.”
Even the way he found out about Landon’s death still causes pain for him. “I found out through my step-mother who called me,” he said. “Later that evening, I logged onto Facebook. I'd received messages at the time frame prior to my knowledge of his death. I'm still triggered by missed calls and constantly checking messages.”
The former Marine encourages audiences from schools to churches and military recruits in basic training. “Our words are who we desire to be, our actions are who we actually are,” he continued. “My conduct speaks for me. I speak very openly on my choices and the ripple effect. I also let them know, they matter and have worth.”
His constant message is: “Be the man that you once needed.”
When asked what kind of coping skills he could share, he replied, “Coping skills. That's a tough question. There's no blue print approach. It's trial and error, finding what's best for us individually. I'm committed to my career and marriage. My daily life is structured and disciplined as part of the process.”
When he meets someone who has lost a child of any age, he speaks gently. "I'm sorry for your loss, unfortunately I can relate," he shared. “I never pry into their life. When approached for support I do my best to have empathy, compassion and give encouragement. The gift is hope. I don't have the answers as to why tragedy happens, but I firmly believe this for my own life. As we go through the pain, we gain strength and wisdom. Eventually in the future we'll cross paths with a peer who's enduring the same burdens that we've already gone through. We will have the ability to effectively support another person, that's our why.”
Everyone can help reduce deaths by suicide. “The manner in which we treat one another, it matters,” he reminded. “Our conduct can impact someone in a negative or a positive way.”
He advised. “Pay attention to extreme behavior changes, depression and instant happiness or happiness to an instant depression. Those can be red flags as it was for my son.”
He ended with these reminders. “If you recognize a red flag with someone's behavior, it doesn't take a lot of effort to contact them by phone, text or approach them, 'hey brother/sister, I just wanted to check on you, is everything OK?’ It's a small gesture that could save their life. We all have the need to be heard and feel like we have value.”
In last week’s issue of the Clay County Progress, Robert Seibert shared how two of his sons had attempted or made plans to die by suicide. Thankfully, Seibert’s sons survived. Yet the impact on him increased his desire to help others be aware.
Local residents are asked to "Come Carry an American Flag" for suicide awareness. Hosted by American Legion Post 532, the 2.2 mile walk starts in front of the rec gym by the ballfields at Clay County Veterans' Park at 9 a.m. Saturday, April 29. Registration starts at 8 a.m. Everyone is welcome and all will carry American flags. Music and food will be available following the walk. For details, call Michelle Stegner at (828) 361-1156.
If you are someone you know is considering suicide, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Veterans may press “1” to connect directly to the Veterans Crisis Lifeline.